Even though the feedback was excellent and the delivery of the feedback was supportive and kind, I am feeling the hit of “not good enough” today. I must do more study before I can continue with my work. I knew it! See! I have to know everything about the thing before I begin doing it. That is what the little voice in my head is saying to me while nodding “I told you so”. If you go back to my first blog post, I wrote about the flip side of this thing I’m experiencing today.
This particular “I told you so” stuff is especially effective at finding the cracks in my creator self. This gift of comment gathers up things I know are weak points in my writing. Each mention lands a seed of doubt in already softened and watered soil.
Everything is a journey. That is the main theme of my writing. The healing aspect of each journey is the supporting thread that adds colour to the cloth. Today, I’m swinging on the thread playing Tarzan. I’ve swung out of my word processor jungle and into the wide moor of instructional information. The blooming plants that stretch out over the landscape have flowers that look a lot like YouTube, teaching website, and podcast logos.
There are so many perfect flowers everywhere I look today! Each one of them better than the blooms in my home garden that appear lopsided and straggly.
It is interesting that I have made the part of my work that would benefit with tweaking the focus of this article. There were some wonderful compliments given and appreciation for other aspects of my writing expressed. Why didn’t I write about that?
Because it’s easy to shrug off success as an undeserved accident and familiar to wrap up in self-doubt. If I had written this article last night, immediately after receiving the critique, I would have made the title “The Gift of Comment” instead of “Criticism and Compliments”.
Life is a process.
“Anticipation of the journey suggests you have yet to realise that it began ages ago. You will. Healing magic is like that.” Sondra Ann 2016